Everything they wanted
by Kanae M. Graham
Summary: In the end, Ben and Rey get what they deserve. The love he was looking for thirty years, and the sense of belonging she looked for since she was a child. (This contains potential Spoilers for TROS!)


**Author Notes: **I am 12 hours away from watching TROS but I am aware of what is happening in the movie and needless to say, I am really upset with many things there, so! This one-shot completely ignores two things **(and here comes the spoilers!)**: Rey Palpatine and Ben Solo d*ing. That's all you need to know. This is probably rushed af but i needed to make myself feel better. I'll definitely return to write some more for these two after watching the movie. They deserved so much better...

Feel free to let me know how you feel about TROS, did you hate it, did you liked it? Please enjoy and thanks for reading. :)

**Quick advice:** I **won't** accept any form of hate in this oneshot, if you're an Anti-Reylo **don't** read this story. It's simply as that. And if you still don't understand, don't be surprised if I delete your review. Learn to respect others.

* * *

**Everything they wanted **

**.**

**.**

Thirty seconds. Thirty devious seconds — maybe more — in nothingness. Suspended, wounded deeply —but that pain isn't only hers — and she just feels like _floating_ mid through space.

Memories remain fresh in little details as she realizes why she's getting torn apart. It's the bond, the invisible red string of fate that gets thinner second by second; a hole in her soul's getting bigger.

_No please_!

At first, she begs without knowing to whom, but then, she feels another stab of hurt that comes from her whole being. Rey begs to tortuous emptiness, asks her to stop because it hurts, it hurts so much, and she... she is dying, she can feel it, her heart is barely beating, and she is unable to feel her arms or legs. She can no longer perceive her physical body. Only pain.

_Please! Oh Force, please!_

That's when she starts to count the seconds. One last act of hope in a situation where she can't do anything. A coping mechanism. She used to count the long days full of sand and faith in stopping loneliness, and that's what she is doing now. She doesn't want to die _alone_, even if Ben — _Oh Ben_ — isn't there, at least she can have the force with her; to become one with it, and someday, she'll be together again with Ben Solo in the afterlife. Leia and Luke will be very happy without a doubt. All of them, herself included.

(21, 22, 23…)

The resignation begins to convince her, prepares her for the inevitable. She cannot regret anything. After a lifetime in solitude, having found a purpose, a happiness with someone who understands her, with someone who does not judge her and looks at her as If she is the last woman on earth it's comforting enough, except for the fact that her connection to him is dissolving in the force that can do nothing but witness the tragedy. But it's okay. Palpatine is gone, the Galaxy is safe, and Ben is safe too, even if she can't stay to witness it, she just _knows_ it.

(27, 28, 29…)

_I'm sorry, Ben._

_._

* * *

.

He collapses on the rocky ground and his arms are already surrounding Rey's body. Despair becomes a sharp aching inside his ribcage, right when he notices the inert — and _lifeless_ — look of the only woman who loves. His throat is so dry that he is incapable to articulate anything. Not even a shout of affliction. A direct stab to his heart. The shock he senses is as unbearable as the pain he's feeling in his core. It feels like he's losing a vital part without physically seeing the red threads being cut. He's bleeding from the inside and he knows why.

His mind echoes Rey's name like a desperate mantra as he holds her against his chest. He can't believe this, he doesn't want to believe this.

_Don't do it, please don't. Force don't let her die! _

But he knows the Force doesn't work like that. Ben knows she's gone, and she doesn't have a lot of time. Rey was alive a few seconds ago, he can sense it through the fading bond. She's vanishing with every passing second — getting away from him to become one with the energy that made their union possible in the first place.

_No Rey, please don't do this to me. Not yet. _

He insists anyway, since the genuine need to maintain the hope that not everything is lost, sticks around. Something that stays present in the form of a motherly sigh.

_No one ever is truly gone._

Seeing her like this is painful. The feeling of denial is so much that his hands cling to the cold skin with a conviction that doesn't back up, not until his lips part open to emit gasps of desolation and with it, tears flow from his eyes like a quiet waterfall. An affirmation of his humanity, of his life as Ben Solo, which he has managed to recover thanks to Rey. The beautiful, innocent and gentle young woman of the desert; the scavenger that has seen through his monster facade with and without a mask. The only one — after Leia — not to lose hope in him. _The only one. _

A hushed promise he did to himself long time ago makes him attempt a risky choice. A certain type of ability that allows him to see clearly what the next step in this life — so full of light — is. A life with actual meaning.

_She's a nobody, but not to me. __**Never**__ to me. _

He takes his sight away from her face as his determination makes room for him to concentrate. He's so afraid of failing, but not from a certain possible fate. Not actually. Not if that means he can bring Rey back to life. He's decided to leave the blood of their hands as the only evidence of a fleeting death.

_Don't worry, sweetheart. I've got this._

_._

* * *

.

She reaches the number thirty in the same moment her core feels an abrupt pull from somewhere unknown. The ray of expectation appears that fast, even if Rey feels like an eternal ordeal has passed. The pain stops immediately, and the feeling of being afloat too. An invisible suture to the hole that no longer grows.

In fact, Rey can't even acknowledge it. Her being is complete anew.

Everything changes and she can feel how she's _moving_ for real. Conventional consciousness comes back and it's like waking up from a dream with open eyes. Her orbs are fully aware of blurry surroundings as she bates her eyelashes. A new breath of life leaves her mouth as a clear sign. There's no emptiness, but the external — and familiar — characteristic force energy. It runs through her being with a naturalness that is overwhelming. Rey feels warm and alive.

On top of that, she feels an intense gaze staring down at her and the Force bond hums, inviting her to raise her own. An irresistible impulse because the bond is open — more open than ever — and what she hears is so _touching_, so _fulfilling_.

Rey heart starts pumping fast as she crosses her hazy view with those piercing — and mesmerizing — eyes of his, raw and sincere with remarkable brightness amid darkness. The same she must be showing off to him because he may be silent, he may be trying to keep quiet but his eyes, _those_ eyes are looking at her like nothing matters, except for her. A mutual exchange of happiness. Lovely dilated pupils that are fixed on hers. An attention that makes her feel another impulse, which seeks to sustain one thing; three syllables hanging from the tip of her anxious tongue.

An unexpected act in the middle of confusion with everything that is happening, but she understands what's more important for her. She allows her lips and teeth to show it before letting her feelings melt through her thrilled voice.

"Ben."

.

* * *

He feels Rey's warm on his left cheek, his ears treasure the yearning way she mumbles his birth name as he loses himself on her telling features; plump lips twitch in relief and happiness, before they become an exclusive and light smile. She keeps the hand on his quivering skin; he can feel how she's breathing through him, from their shared energy. The last level of intimate connection that both have reached. The aspiration of any force user who shares a bond with someone they care.

_Palpatine was right._

And Ben feels like crying again, not only because his connection with Rey is safe, but also because she is _alive_ and smiling and the bond is still exposed like an open book instead of a bleeding wound. He hears her so clearly. There's so much emotion that he can no longer contain. Their names mingle in their minds. It's impossible to distinguish who is louder than the other. Both are there, and they'll never get separated again. It allures him to finally want to say something, anything else than her addictive name.

He's about to remove his smile to tell her, but she's quicker and eager for a meagre second, when he feels the weight of Rey's gaze on his lips — one single look that instantly returns to his eyes for a bold answer.

_Would you let me do it?_

Ben says nothing, he is unable to do it with his heart beating uncontrollably, but his gaze doesn't refrain from seeing her — hoping that his inviting eyes are more than enough consent — and finally, Rey eradicates the short distance between them, invading his personal space as she always wanted to do, sliding her hand in his black curls — the ones she always wanted to touch — just to press her lips against him. Another act of absolute demonstration of love as the confessions comes out spontaneously.

The love he was looking for thirty years.

_I love you, I love you, Rey-_

The sense of belonging she looked for since she was a child.

_I couldn't let you die, you're everything to me. _

Their first kiss of many, the kiss that makes them experience the absolute state of belonging and fullness. She begins to count the seconds in which her inexperienced lips remain attached to Ben's, whose inexperience makes him tense them in a way that Rey denotes as sweet. They both are. The pieces of a complicated puzzle fitting without any effort, since its only expected for them to kiss like this. So much tenderness to reduce them into a shuddering mess of emotions. The final impulse for her to dive into his open mind.

She sees Ben's recent memories all over the place. No walls to dodge. She crumbles at how he was looking at her departed expression, how desperate and hollow his heart felt. Rey holds back tears but then, she feels Ben's willpower to solve all this. The _hope_ to resurrect her even if that costs him his life. The words mentioned by Palpatine himself about how they're deeply connected, and they can live as one with the Force. Ben's confidence stems from it, but the reason is none other than herself. His other side of the coin, his complement, his light. _Oh, Ben._

_I'd rather die than live a life without you._

To prove it, Ben surrounds her back with his right arm — almost shyly, almost delicately so as not to appear rough when he gets her even closer — and the heat they share is all he dreamed of and more. She feels loved and realized. He took a risk that allowed them to live and stay together. The Force can't do anything else aside from humming in endorsement. She can't help to keep the smile of joy.

When Rey finally breaks the kiss to catch on some air, she's smiling back at him.

_We've kissed twelve seconds. _

She blushes at that thought but finding Ben in the same state of embarrassment after hearing that, makes her feel better about the overexcitement at this new stage of their relationship. They stare at each other silently, allowing the Bond to speak for them.

"Rey..."

He finally whispers, losing himself in her enlightened face. A face that represents a home for him from now on. A warm, healing home.

"I know."

She assures him as her hands surround his cheeks to keep the distance and have some more of the amazing physical contact. She needs to tell him another thing. In the beginning, she disputes between "I want to try so many things with you" and "Let's go home together" but then, her mind is screaming at her to say the _most important_.

"I feel it too, Ben," Rey claims as her forehead leans on his, and she's so ready to make him smile impossibly widely. There's no way she can't hide this anyway. "Because I love you."

.

* * *

_._

_Because I love you, I love you so much and I'm sorry that I didn't say it before. _

Lips part as suddenly that revelation is processed in his mind to become a reality.

_I'm sorry about everything I did to you. _

"No, it's not your fault," he rasps soothingly. "I'm here thanks to you. You were the only one who believed in me."

And he settles the proof reminiscences, pours them one by one to assure Rey the stability she may need of him. The one he's resolute to give. He gifts it all since the day he meets her on Takodana. He doesn't secure her with love, also with fascination, respect and curiosity. Ben's personalized love letter in their spirits so accommodated to acceptance.

Rey accepts them with a hug that he returns immediately. It seems that some of her scavenger insatiability has sneaked into his being, and she can do nothing, but squeeze him harder, just to rejoice in the fluidity of the living shared force in them.

"Don't you dare to leave me alone," she whispers in the dampness of his black hair.

He shrugs to permit a laugh slip from his smooth lips. Rey catches herself looking at them again through his locks.

"I would never do it," he says in his sarcastic tone, the one that makes her skin crawl in pure exhilaration.

"You promise?"

She requests mindlessly as her fingers find an obsession with _those_ hairs.

"I promise."

Rey's frank smile is so casual since then.

_Ben? _

And he loves how she whispers his name every single time.

_Yes, Rey? _

The thoughts of both stop flowing for a brief moment, but it isn't an excuse to tear them from each other's arms. No, Rey simply coasts hands to sturdy shoulders, before looking up at him, just an acquitted motivation to get lost in beautiful black eyes that profess unconditional love to her. The love she can profess right back. And it feels _so right_.

Rey's lips don't move, but his do, they decide to rest on her forehead as she — once again — takes the official step to establish their relationship.

_Let's go home._

.

* * *

**Final Notes: **and then they go together to the Resistance to allow Ben to pay for his sins as well as they end up doing a New Jedi Order among with Reylo babies THE END


End file.
